Twenty-one years ago today I packed my car and moved to Ensenada, Mexico, to serve full-time with Agua Viva Ministries. My plan was to visit the Agua Viva office in San Diego and then cross the border and head out to Rancho Agua Viva in Ensenada. That is what I did, but it took a lot longer than I planned. I expected to arrive at Rancho Agua Viva around 6 or 7 PM. I arrived after 11 PM!
On my way to San Diego I had to deal with a flat tire. That slowed me down. I finally arrived at the Agua Viva office in San Diego. I was told to take the freeway south to the border. Sounds easy enough. It didn’t occur to me to ask which freeway. I was from Phoenix. At that time there were not very many freeways in Phoenix. In fact, going north and south there was only one freeway. If I gave someone instructions on how to get somewhere and said, “Take the freeway” and they asked, “Which freeway?”, I would have responded, “You aren’t from here, are you? Take THE freeway…” Therefore, I didn’t ask, “Which freeway?” I should have. This was before GPS was a thing, so I spent some time exploring San Diego (that should read, “Being lost in San Diego”).
I finally crossed the border and as I was driving following directions, there was a sign that read “Ensenada” with an arrow pointimg to the line dividing two lanes in the road. One lane veered off to the left, the other to the right. The arrow could have been referring to either lane, but which one? I mentally flipped a coin and chose heads when I should have chosen tails. I spent more time “exploring” Tijuana. I finally arrived in Ensenada. I took a wrong turn somewhere and spent more time “exploring” Ensenada.
Imagine how bad being lost can be if you have a map–but don’t realize you have the wrong map! Maybe the road names are the same, but perhaps in a different order or leading to different places. Perhaps there is enough similarity for you to believe it is the right map, but using the map always takes you to the wrong place.
From the time we are born we develop a map of the world–cultural values, norms, etc. This map also includes who we are as a person and our relationship to others. The map tells us how to interact with people and how to handle the situations we find ourselves in. The map is so ingrained in who we are as a person we are not really aware of its existence.
When you move to another culture you discover that the map you have been using doesn’t work. You begin to create a new map to handle the new culture. In the process you yourself change. You learn new ways to handle situations and interact with people. The longer you spend in the new culture the more ingrained the new map becomes. You are no longer the same person.
When you move back to where you came from you expect that the map you used before moving to the second culture is the correct map. The street names look familiar. The landscape looks the same. The map must be correct.
However, the map has changed because while you were gone your own culture has experienced changes. The people you knew have changed. You have changed. The old map no longer works, but you don’t know it. You want to use the map, but something isn’t right. You don’t know what it is, but it is there, under your skin, irritating you, because you know something is wrong. You don’t understand what is wrong. Why do you always feel the way you do? Why does this feel so uncomfortable?
This is “reentry stress”–something everyone who has lived in another culture and has returned experiences. When I return to Phoenix in February I will be experiencing this. (If you didn’t know that I plan to return to Phoenix, read about that decision here.) I have been reading about reentry stress with the hope to process everything in the healthiest way that I can. While I won’t avoid the uncomfortable feelings, I can at least be aware of the process I am going through.
Please pray with me both before I return to Phoenix and after I return. Pray that the Lord will use the experience to draw me closer to Him. Pray for the opportunity to share with people what the Lord has done and is still doing in Mexico. Pray that I can be an encouragement to others with the stories I have from my time in Mexico.
Thank you for being a part of what God is and has been doing!